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How to Get Divorced if Your Ex is Not Speaking to You

Sometimes getting divorced is a mutual decision between you and your spouse, and the process runs (somewhat) smoothly. In many cases, the decision to divorce is one-sided. In those situations, the partner who is unwilling will eventually go along with the process — even if he or she refuses to speak to you or respond to emails. In the end, you have what’s known as an “uncontested” divorce.

Of course, in some cases, that’s not what happens. The partner requesting a divorce might move out, meet with an attorney, and begin the process by filing the paperwork. It’s far easier to complete the process with input from him or her. During this time, you can settle issues with mediation or arbitration. Unfortunately, he or she may refuse to speak to you and may refuse to sign anything, meaning you can’t settle your affairs.

Tips to Manage Divorce

However, you can still obtain a divorce. Here are some tips:


In a situation where you are granted divorce by default, a judge will often rely on the information you have provided, meaning your spouse may lose his/her say in property division, child custody, and financial support. Sometimes, the threat of not having a say will prompt people to participate.

Every divorce is a little bit different, so ask your attorney about your situation. Or, visit our monthly workshop where you can ask an attorney, a financial adviser, and a therapist about the next steps in the process.